Anyone else feeling... scared?

#1

Hi DK-MBA fam!

I’ve been MIA in the group lately (my disdain for Facebook has become unbearable) and I really have missed you guys.

Life has been liiiiiiiiifing and I’ve found myself once again in that familiar, all too comfortable space of “survival mode” with my finances, which always seems to be the catalyst that causes all my other life dominos to fall, especially music.

I haven’t been able to nor have I felt motivated to even attempt to touch music, and yet I am scared to death at the detriment that all this “hoping to be less stressed” can cause.

I’ve been pummeling myself with guilt & shame, the lowest of vibrations when it comes to my music, and at this point, my history of popping up to release a song and then disappearing for months on end has got to stop - my fans aren’t even going to trust me anymore.

“Why support an artist if they just keep abandoning you?” is the story I tell myself most days.

Anyway, I guess I’m hoping to feel validated in these thoughts so if any of you are feeling discouraged AF and have an “attaboy” that doesn’t feel fake & useless, I could really use that right now.

Thanks in advance, every & anyone.

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#2

Hey! I feel you. I always struggle with these intrusive and negative thoughts that keep me from feeling right with my music.

First of all. You are a human being. And artists are human beings too. You don’t have to do or prove anything to anyone. A fan is someone that loves your art, and that would totally understand that you are a person just like them. It is quite interesting to see that in artists too.

And secondly, the only thing that really matters in this life is love. Love for others but for yourself too.

Relax and be kind. Be kind with you. Have love and compassion for that part of yourseld that is suffering. Give yourself and others some love. Take some time. There is no hurry. Live life. And eveything will be okay.

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#3

Hello.

Yes, yes, a million times yes. With everything you said. I’ve tried and tried to get out of the massive hole that you described, and it seems impossible, and I’m feeling it more so now than ever.

Its actually quite refreshing (for me, at this moment in time - but I doubt that it feels that way for you… apologies) to spot this post as it’s made me feel less alone in this mindset.

I’ve had the disdain for social media for some time, years in fact - and picked it back up again to “start afresh” after several years of feeling too stressed, too tired, too “up against it” with life off the back of joining DKMBA as it seemed to be the answer to getting out of a rut and promoting myself as an artist… yet I released single number one, promptly hated it and got scared off by social media and now I just want to give up. Again.

Unfortunately I don’t really have any answers or suggestions… the only two options viable to me right now are giving up or “brute forcing” my way through and honestly I loathe both options.

For what its worth, I had a quick look at your website and a flick through your music, and I really dig it. I think real fans are worth their weight in gold and wouldn’t feel abandoned by a social media absence, and it seems that you’re doing everything “right” - whatever defines “right” nowadays. I guess its all relative.

Real fans will be there as and when you get round to a new release. Anyone else who can’t wait while you do real life stuff for awhile, feels abandoned and gets the jets on - you probably wouldn’t want them in your fanbase anyway. I wouldn’t.

There are always people who like the reclusive aspect of an artist… look at Venetian Snares (one of my favourite producers/artists). This guy notoriously detests his audience and hates releasing music, but this is easily part of his appeal to so many. If that can win over some sort of audience then I reckon that anything can.

I’m rambling now. Take this as you will. I’ve done the ol’ “follow” thing on IG. Reach out on there perhaps if you want to natter, talk shop, send some WIP stuff or whatever.

Peace x